All-State Auditions

As many of you know, my All-State tryouts were this weekend. The tryouts were in Tecumseh, which is a good three-hour drive from Enid. For that reason, Ms. Lohmann and I left out on Friday night, so we could get a good night’s rest in preparation for the big day that was before us. We enjoyed a lovely dinner at Alfredo’s Mexican Café off of I-35 in Moore. For the restaurant being packed, we had exceptionally quick service and good food. After getting a good night’s rest, we got up and made the short drive from Shawnee to Tecumseh. When I got there, Ms. Lohmann told me to go find my tryout room and the warm-up room. She also told me that if I didn’t want to go to the warm-up room, I could use her car for warm-up space. As we got out of the vehicle, we were greeted by the cacophony that is better known as a warm-up room. While walking into the school to find my room, I lost every last shred of calmness I had when we pulled up. It was very much akin to the way I felt playing in front of the band. I knew that the first thing I had to do was to CALM DOWN! My hands were shaking horrendously, and my stomach felt the same way it does when I go on a roller coaster. We found my room easily, and at about the time that we got there, the lady was posting the cuts for the etudes for both prelims and finals and also the major scale that was required. As a note, the prelim tryouts only included cuts from both of the etudes, no scales or sight-reading! I was thrilled about that, and was also confident in the fact that I could make it past the first round. The second round/finals included different cuts from the etudes, sight-reading, the chromatic scale, and the specified major scale, which was Concert Eb…the easiest scale besides the Concert Bb scale for a clarinet! (It only has 1 flat!) I can’t lie, the cuts for the prelims were about as easy as it could’ve gotten, all things considered. The cuts for the finals were a little more difficult, of course, but they were basically what I expected them to be. After knowing all of that, I had a much better feeling about everything. With that in mind, I decided to go give the warm-up room a try.

When walking in there, I was greeted with the usual dissonance that is heard in any warm-up room. Of course, it’s in a gym, so the acoustics really aren’t there. Also, there were many people playing the clarinet etudes that sounded WAY better than I did, or at least could take the etudes at a tempo that I would never dream of. Nevertheless, I sat down, ran through my scales, and cuts of my etudes. I felt like the odd one out, because I was the only one from my school, but I figured that that was the least of my worries. I felt a little bit calmer, but not much more, so I decided to go back to the car. While I was in there, I began to feel much better. I said a silent prayer that I could just calm down and play like I was at lessons. By the time I left the car to go sit and wait, I was much calmer. My hands weren’t shaking at all! I sat outside my room and began the never-ending process of waiting that characterizes these events. Any time that I sit alone in a public place, I love to just watch people, listen to the things they say, and pick up subliminal clues about them. As I sat there, I realized that at this level of competition, there are many people who make this a part of their entire being. There are many people who are much more dedicated than I can ever dream of being. There are many people who make this their life so much that, I would guess, they don’t have much of a life outside of this. I finally got my audition card, and I was contestant number 83. I was in the second room that started with number 43, which meant that there was much more waiting in store. As I sat there, I began talking with three different girls, all of whom were Sophomores. I got the feeling that two of the three were trying to play head games with me, by trying to psyche me out. I have you know that, if they were using that tactic, I did not fall prey to it. When it was finally my turn, about an hour and a half later, I went in as ready as I could be. I felt that I played about as well as I could have played it. When I left the room and was waiting for my green sticker that signified that I went to the next round, a guy who was standing at the door informed me that I played wonderfully. A few seconds later, I got my card back, with a green dot! Then it was on to the next phase of waiting for a chance to play in the final room.

There was a large herd of people waiting for that. I took that particular opportunity to go back to the warm-up room to go over my etudes once again. Ms. Lohmann, who was judging French Horns, came and sat with me to wait once again. We figured out a somewhat strategic placement for my tryout. We immediately decided that I shouldn’t follow the girl who had been first chair at both Small and Large School All-States for the past few years. Also, I didn’t want to follow another guy who sounded amazingly good in the warm-up room. Finally, I decided to just go. I went in and played both scales, and did well on that, only with a minor issue with the highest note on my chromatic scale. My etudes came next, and I honestly felt that that was the best that I had ever played them. I played with as much heart as I could, and I didn’t feel disappointed in the least with that part of my audition. The sight-reading was decent, and it was probably the only thing that I could have done better on, but it is sight-reading, and no one ever gets it perfect, so I was content. When I was done, Ms. Lohmann told me that I sounded great, and that she was pleased with what she could hear of my audition. After that, we left to go eat lunch at the Cracker Barrel in Shawnee. We ended up taking the scenic route back to Tecumseh, and I decided on two things. 1) The town of Shawnee is not very visitor friendly if you get in the residential area, and is very hard to navigate. 2) I have no sudden desire to go to college there, either. (My parents should be happy, since there are only private colleges there.)

After we finally got back to Tecumseh, we went to the results room. It was the moment of truth. Naturally, there was a crowd of people surrounding the results sheet. Ms. Lohmann was slightly in front of me, and I could tell my results by her body language. As she looked upon the sheet, her shoulders dropped, and I knew. I didn’t make it. Of course, I was heartbroken for the moment. Tears came, and Ms. Lohmann gave me a hug and told me that I really did a great job, and there was nothing to be ashamed of by not making it. In fact, they really didn’t take that many clarinets. I was in the top thirty which was still a pretty big accomplishment. After I composed myself a little bit, I called my parents. I also called Mr. Holland. According to him, the judges obviously didn’t know talent when they heard it (You’ve got to love Mr. H!). He also told me that it didn’t take away from any part of my being as a musician, it only added to it. He also told me to keep my head up and to go get first chair at All-Area. On our way home, Ms. Lohmann enlightened me on an interesting fact. Both she and Mr. Holland, two of the best musicians I know of, did NOT make All-State when they were in high school. I thought about it a little more, and there are lots of other people who didn’t make All-State. Lots of people never even tried out. Gina and many of her friends tried out for All-State and didn’t make it, and I still think that they were fantastic musicians, and the fact that they didn’t make it to All-State didn’t take away anything from their being as musicians at the time. And really, at the end of the day, it’s just another honor. In the grand scheme of things, it’s really not that big of a deal. I still wish that I could have made it, but it’s okay.


Today at church, Fr. Joe had a wonderful homily that I felt related to my situation. He talked about a tennis player who, by the age of seventeen, had won Wimbledon. He was the greatest professional tennis player in the world at that time. One would have thought that he would be on top of the world in excitement. In a later interview, he was quoted as saying that although he had the fame, fortune, and the honors, “he had no inner peace.” Here is the greatest tennis player in the world, and even after he had won the title to prove this, he still had no inner peace. Perhaps had I made it, I might be in the same boat. I might have stressed about the music I would have to play, or the chair tryouts that would occur at the Clinic, I might not have been completely satisfied with my chair. (I doubt that, but it could have happened.) I figure that there are many more people out there who deserve the honor much more than I, and I’m okay with that. Perhaps it will help someone receive a scholarship that they really need; there are many possibilities. Nonetheless, I am pleased with the fact that I made it to the second round, and I feel that I am a better player for everything, so it’s okay.

“Give the world the best you have, and it may never be good enough. Give the world the best you have anyway.” --Mother Theresa