In one week, I will be officially moved into my dorm. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to begin this new chapter of my life, but reality is beginning to set in--I'm not in high school anymore. Yes, it seems a lot like I will be, because I'm still going back to school and half of my senior class will be there, but it will be different. I know I've mentioned all of this in almost all of my recent posts, but it bears repeating for me to understand the depth of it. I'm no longer a student at Pioneer High School. What happens there has no direct impact on my life anymore, and isn't necessarily anything for me to be concerned about. I am one step closer to becoming a real adult, not just a legal adult. I am closer to starting a career, starting a family (God willing), starting a life that is all my own. It's scary.
The average reader might wonder, "Why is Amanda suddenly freaking out about life, when only two days ago, she was pumped about college? What's up with that?!"
The answer is simple. I am finally faced with the reality of one distinct change in my life. My three best friends are leaving. When I start class on August 22nd at 9:00 AM, they won't be there. Nor will they be there to sit with me at lunchtime. They won't be there for me to talk to after I get done with my homework in a class. We can't share most every detail of our lives every day. We won't be able to share inside jokes about random things or make fun of everyday idiosyncracies that we encounter. We won't be able to share books (as well) or take random pictures with each other. We won't go to games or dances or practices. Nothing will be the same.
I hope and pray that we will always be best friends, even after 20 years or more, but I also am aware of the reality that all of our lives will change. We will all find new friends. We will all probably even find new best friends. Soon enough, we will all have families of some sort, and lives all our own. Our lives will be completely opposite of how they are now/have been. We will go from seeing each other nearly every day to going weeks, months, or even years without seeing each other, and, after long enough, that will become the new normal for all of us. I'm not trying to be overdramatic, but it is the reality of the situation. None of us know where our lives will take us in the future.
There is also a flipside to the situation, because it can't be completely bad. I believe that we will all go great places and have good lives, regardless of where we go or what we do. We will have new experiences that will make us better people. We will be able to share joy with each other with good news, like job offers, engagements, pregnancies, or new homes. We will always be able to pick up where we left off when we do get to see each other, which may be more often than we realize now. We will always have the pictures and memories of each other from high school that we can carry with us. We will have stories to tell our new friends, boyfriends/spouses, children, that they will probably get sick of hearing. No matter what happens, we will always have each other for support. And, I think I'm overlooking the most important fact...we live in the 21st Century! We have Facebook, Email, Cell Phones, and even Skype! Just because we'll be miles apart doesn't mean that we have to be completely disconnected! (It is definitely the biggest upside!)
We had lots of fun together on Tuesday night. Shea, Matt (Shea's boyfriend), Tonisha, Michael (Tonisha's boyfriend), Mary, Jazzmyn (Mary's little sister, I hope I spelled her name right!), Tevis, and I all hung out. We began the night at Cherry Berry with some amazing frozen yogurt (I definitely recommend it!). After that, we rented a movie, "Jumping the Broom", and headed to Tonisha's house to watch the movie and swim. Mary had to leave the party early because she had to take her sister home. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that Mary wasn't going to come back, and I don't think I really told her goodbye, which makes me sad. After enjoying some pizza and the movie, we all parted ways. Of course, Shea, Tonisha, and I had a huge bear hug with lots of goodbyes and promises to tell each other when we would be home, as our boyfriends stood awkwardly in the distance. Amazingly enough, I managed not to cry. (I have a pretty good record for keeping it together these days!) However, after Tevis and I got back to his grandpa's house, I lost it. Thankfully, he is good at comforting me, and he reminded me that he'd still be here, along with his best friends (who are my best guy friends). This was a comforting thought, to an extent, but I doubt that any of them will be willing to discuss Nicholas Sparks novels or watch chick flicks or just talk about things like my friends and I do. That's okay, though, because I don't expect them to replace my best friends, by any means.
I know that everything will be okay and I'll make some new friends, just as I wish the same for Shea, Mary, and Tonisha. I believe that we may begin to grow separately, but we will not grow apart.
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