Looking Toward the Future

Last weekend, I came to the realization that in exactly one year, may I emphasize one year, I will be getting ready to go to a different college.

I'll let you soak in that fact for a moment, because I am still struggling with this thought.


I am back to where I was about 1.5 years ago, when I was worried about where I would be attending college. I don't like this at all, because I feel very frustrated and like I have no control. Maybe I'm being irrational, I don't know for sure. The only thing that I do know for sure is that I am going to have to go through the entire scholarship/admission/waiting process all over again, and I don't like it, not one bit. I like where I am now. I am happy, and I am comfortable. I know people, and they know me. I am bummed to have to think about giving up some of those things.

I should add that the scholarship/financial aid situation is/will be a major deciding factor as to where I go, since I am not independently wealthy and am responsible for financing my higher education.

Yes, I could just go to NWOSU here in town, but there's a small snag in that plan...the Enid satellite campus does not offer any math or science classes, and despite the interest level of students, it isn't looking like that will change between now and next year. Really?

Well, there's the actual campus of NWOSU in Alva. They offer exactly what I want, like most other four-year institutions, and it isn't all that far from home. However, it is far enough away that I wouldn't want to commute, which means that I would either have to live on campus or find a place in town. Once again, no big deal. Here's the thing, I am not a big fan of the town of Alva. No offense to anyone from there, but I have my reasons. There was once when I was a seventh-grader that I attended an honor band on that campus. I had an okay time until I ended up getting horribly sick shortly before the concert. Ever since, I have had an aversion to the town. Also, my ex-boyfriend attends college there, and I have no desire to see him anytime in the forseeable future. If I attended college there, I know that I would invariably (and regularly) run into him, since it is a relatively small campus. Knowing what I know, I can tell you that that isn't something I really want to do, if at all possible. Okay, so that is a childish cop-out reason that I could probably overlook, but still. I guess I'll say this: I will go to NWOSU-Alva, if and only if I am offered a scholarship that exceeds an offer from any other college. (Yes, I will apply there anyway, because there is an agreement between them & NOC for transfer students that offers a decent scholarship. Also, maybe they'll get on the ball and get a math program going in Enid.)

Another place I have toyed around with going to is UCO. Oh, UCO... Actually, I would be fairly interested in going there if the price is right. According to some, it is like OU or OSU on a slightly smaller, cheaper scale. I would be fine with that. The only thing that really wigs me out about UCO is that I am not very familiar with the greater Edmond area. I can get to a few landmarks, but that's about it. I suppose a GPS could help with that problem. Also, I would have to find living arrangements, because while I could live on campus, I would feel weird living on campus as a Junior who is transferring in. I suppose that that isn't a big deal either, but my main concern would be finding a place to live that I won't have to live in fear of getting gunned down on my way to my vehicle or being in the midst of a SWAT team invasion or getting roaches. However, that would also entail extra cost on my part because of rent/utilities/food/incidentals. I'm hoping to maybe schedule a tour for there sometime in the next few weeks while I have some spare time.

My final place that I could be considering is OSU. Let me say this: I love Stillwater. I know how to navigate the town, I know people there, it is close to home, and, oh yeah, I love the town! Here's the problem with OSU: it is expensive, I don't want to take out that much in student loans, and, like I mentioned earlier, I am not independently wealthy. Ugh. If only OSU was priced the same as UCO! Regardless, I am still applying and I am going to have to try for all the scholarships I possibly can. Also, I might take a tour, just to meet some people and see what they have to offer.

Now, you can maybe understand part of why I am so worried. Yes, there are a few other reasons, but I don't have the energy to delve into that right now.

I suppose I will have to start doing some major research and, more than anything, talk to people. Thank heavens I am good at networking and talking to others so that I can get some facts, because there is only so much I can get from websites.

I guess I have to keep reminding myself that I have to just be able to have some faith and let go so that everything can work out alright!