A Curse and a Blessing

The last few days have been a little bit crazy for my family and me. A few months ago, I vaguely mentioned having a bottle calf that we named Buckles. Over the last few months, he has become a fixture in our lives. Every day since he was born and his mom died, we have fed him twice a day. There were definitely times he was frustrating, but for the most part, he was a well-mannered little calf, who became more like a pet, than just another calf. Last Thursday morning, he started acting peculiar, the biggest sign being that he wouldn't take his bottle. After my parents consulted our vet, they gave him a dose of an antibiotic that we had on hand, hoping that would help him regain his appetite. My mom also tried to give him another bottle that evening, but had no luck. The majority of the evening was spent in the field, harvesting wheat. (Harvest was uncharacteristically late this year due to all the rain...never thought I'd say that sentence!)

While Mom & Dad took the last load of the evening to Co-op, Scotty and I went out to get Buckles loaded up in the trailer so that my mom could take him to the vet early the next morning. It wasn't a prime time to load him, but it was the only time we would have to get him loaded with plenty of people able to help, we were already out and about, and the moon was bright enough to help us see, along with headlights. Getting him loaded was a fiasco, but I have to hand it to Scotty, who expertly wrangled him and made it happen...heaven knows I couldn't have done it myself!

Friday morning, my mom took him to the vet. When I took my lunch break that day, I just so happened to be the only one in the lunch room at the time and I had some time to spare after eating, so I called my mom to check up on Buckles' appointment. When my mom answered the phone, she sounded dejected, and I started to worry. After asking how everything went, my mom proceeded to tell me that I really didn't want to know. Our vets had a hunch that his peculiar behavior, in addition to his poor appetite, could possibly be rabies. Unfortunately, the only way that they could know was if they took a specimen of his brain, which would entail putting him down. Because of the fact that we were all in close contact with him and rabies is fatal, that was the only choice.

My mom had the most difficult job, since everyone else was at work. She had to take Buckles back to the vet's office to be put down, take him back home, then take his brain specimen to the city for testing. (My dad buried him after he came home from work.) Hearing about all of this right before having to go back out into the real world, put on a happy face, and work with customers was difficult. I spent the last five minutes of my lunch break crying profusely in the break room. I made it through the afternoon, but cried during my entire drive home. I stopped off at the shrine and lit a candle in his honor, and prayed a short prayer for him and my family, all through my tears. The worst part was entering my house and seeing Buckles' paraphernalia in our utility room. I suddenly lost all of the composure I had managed to temporarily regain.

We were told that if the tests came back positive for rabies, we would be notified by phone between 2 and 4 PM on Saturday, but 6 PM at the latest. Since my parents, Scotty, and I were the last people to come in close contact with Buckles, my mom gave the department our phone numbers. I spent the better part of Saturday afternoon on pins and needles, hoping against all hope that we wouldn't receive a call. When I left work at 5:15, I was happy, because I figured that everything was alright. I figured wrong; at 5:50, my mom called me to let me know that the test came back positive, and I would be receiving a call from the State Dept. of Health very soon. At 6:01, the call came in, and the nice lady informed that it could be advisable, but not mandatory, that I start the immunization process as soon as possible as a precautionary measure. She was very informative, nice, and comforting, which was what we all needed at the time. Yesterday, we consulted with our family doctor, who had personally talked to the state epidemiologist about a case similar to ours not long ago. He told us that there was only one instance of bovine-human contracted rabies, and that there would honestly be a bigger risk from taking the immunizations than from not, so we all decided not to, and really feel at peace about our decision.

This really has been quite the year for my family, as far as trying times go. Back in September, quite a bit of our fence, hay, and pasture was burned due to a "controlled" burn that was poorly set just north of our property. Emily had a close friend whose baby died of SIDS, which has somewhat reminded our family of Michelle's death. Kyle broke his arm in a 4-wheeler accident. I faced the difficult decision of breaking up with Tevis. Mimi's health was starting to really fail back in February. There was a drought, a blizzard, and plenty of other trials. Now, we have a rabid calf, and the uncertainty of the health of the remainder of our herd.

Sometimes, I feel like my life is a reading from the Book of Exodus, and the freak things that happen are like the plagues. Sometimes, I wonder why things have to happen like they do. Sometimes, I just get frustrated with life in general.

When I get to feeling this way, I have to take a step back and look at things differently. Even though I sometimes feel like God has sent us "plagues", I have to remember all of the blessings that He has sent us. Our pasture has grown back, and the drought is starting to diminish, thanks to the bountiful rain we have received. My parents have been able to use their experience with Michelle to help counsel Emily's friend. Kyle's arm healed quickly and wonderfully (and it definitely didn't slow him down!). I have really flourished since I broke up with Tevis. Mimi is healed and in much better health than she was in February. The snow from the blizzard melted, and life returned to normal. Even more, everyone in my family is employed, we all have nice homes to live in, plenty of food to eat, and clothes on our back. We are healthy, and we are even expecting another little boy to join Gina & Jeremy's family in October!!!!! (That brings the total to six boys, if you're keeping track at home!) Really though, the best blessing is that our family is bound together with undying love for each other and our faith in God.

I truly believe that all of these trials are merely tests of our trust in God and have helped to strengthen our relationship with Him. With all of this in mind, I know that, while it doesn't seem like it ever will, everything about this rabies incident will blow over, and God will continue to bless our family in the best of ways.

"We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose."--Romans 8:28 (My personal favorite verse)