Update on Mimi

I’m back for a bit to catch you all up on everything that has happened over this past weekend regarding Mimi.

Friday was my last day at work, and it was really a great day, for the most part. I shared a fun lunchtime conversation with some of my favorite co-workers and headed back downstairs to finish my last day’s work. I was in the midst of another fun conversation when the phone rang. Being that I was close to it, I answered to find out that it was Emily, calling to inform me about Mimi. I promptly ran upstairs to find my Aunt Marla (one of my co-workers) and talk to her. We spent the rest of the afternoon in a daze, waiting to hear any possible news from my uncle Larry (her husband). I spent some quality time at the shrine after work, praying, crying, and seeking God’s peace for my family and me.

By what I am certain was God’s grace, I happened to run into, of all people, Carissa on my way to the hospital. It was comforting to talk to her and catch up with each other’s lives. Shortly thereafter, I finally arrived at the hospital and learned more of the story…

Friday is the day that Mimi always goes to town to get her hair fixed, go to the bank, and gets any groceries she might need for the week. At her hair appointment, her hairdresser (Louise) noticed that she wasn't acting like herself and was concerned. She decided to give Mimi time to make it home, then tried calling her. She didn't answer the house phone, and Louise was desperate to make sure she was alright, so she tried another way to contact her. As luck would have it, my cousin Michael’s wife, Katha, worked at that salon a few years back, so Louise called her and asked that she and Michael go check on Mimi at home. They frantically made their way to her house to find her standing on her front porch, surrounded by sacks of groceries and trying to find her house keys, dripping with sweat. Michael made her sit in his vehicle while he found the keys, and they helped her put her groceries away. They noticed that her speech was scrambled because, instead of asking Katha to put milk in the refrigerator, she asked her to put the cow in the barn. Mimi was frustrated, but they finally realized what she was trying to get across. They knew that they had to get her to her doctor’s office right away. It turns out that her doctor wasn't in, but his P.A. saw her in the waiting room, and instructed them to go to the ER, and not waste any time. She assured them that she would be admitted upon arrival and not to worry about anything, because she would take care of it.

During the next while, my mom, her siblings, and a few other people were assembled at the hospital. Gina’s friend, who is a P.A. at the ER, came and explained to my family that Mimi was experiencing a hemorrhagic stroke (a bleeding stroke). The bleed was 4 cm in diameter, located primarily over the speech part of her brain. Mimi was admitted to the ICU, which is where she remains for the time being.

Generally, doctors are able to administer the clot-busting drug, which has revolutionized stroke treatment. Unfortunately, with the stroke she experienced, that would have only made matters worse. The doctors wanted to perform an MRI on her to get a better idea of what was happening, but, due to Mimi’s pacemaker, that wasn't an option. Therefore, they ended up performing multiple CT scans on her head. They believe that the bleeding stopped yesterday, thank goodness.

Right now, most of the details are sketchy in my head; I wish I would have taken better notes so that I could share them with you, but I simply didn't.

Here is what I do know: Mimi is okay in the fact that she is able to get up to use the restroom (with assistance), which means there is no paralysis. She can carry on a superficial conversation, but when she has to recall details or names, her words get scrambled. Interestingly, she can describe what she is trying to talk about. For example, she was asking about my cousin Evan, but couldn't think of his name, and instead asked, how the boy with the plants is. We were able to deduce that she was asking about Evan, whose name she recognized after we mentioned it. Another example is when her doctor pointed to his watch and asked her what it was. Instead of saying watch, she told him it was a clock (which it was), but she knew that she wasn't right. She gets frustrated easily, because she knows what she wants to say, but the words don’t come out just right. Mimi told my mom that she fears that people will think she’s a “dummy” because she can’t talk like she used to. My mom assured her that if anyone was to think that that it was that person who was the “dummy” and it wasn't her fault. Her memory is sporadic, because she knows who people are and details about them, but she can’t remember how she came to be at the hospital or why she’s there, etc. She was able to tell the doctors that she is 95, but couldn't remember her birth date. It is little things like that, but her doctors assured us that she hasn't lost any ground, and has actually improved in some respects. She has been put on anti-seizure medication for the time being, because she is at a great risk for seizures, especially with her age. She often complains of a headache or fatigue, but her doctors say that it is caused from brain swelling and/or medication. Also, to prevent a resurgence of bleeding, her blood pressure is being monitored, and the doctors are trying to keep it at a steady rate.

Right now, we simply must take it one day at a time. We just don’t know what will happen, and that could simply be the worst part of the situation. I have gone to see Mimi three times now, and I must say that I have a love-hate relationship with my visits. Of course, I love to see Mimi, and it brings me great comfort to hold her hand, hear her voice, and be able to tell her how much I love her and hear her say the same to me. On the other hand, it hurts. It hurts to see my strong, invincible Mimi struggling as she is. It hurts to see her writhe in pain as her blood pressure cuff tightens on her arm. It hurts to hear her question why she can’t remember things or why she hurts like she does. What hurts the most, though, is hearing her say that she wants to go home, and knowing that she might not necessarily be talking about her farm, or hearing her ask if it’s her time to go. Every time I have visited her, I end up leaving the ICU distraught, asking God to give me patience and clarity for the road that may lie ahead for us all.

The one thing that has brought me great comfort in this time has been my family, both biological and spiritual. On Friday night, as Gina, my Aunt Carol, and I stood in her room, when suddenly the reality of it all became too much for me, and I lost my composure seeing Mimi struggle. As I started to weep, I was embraced by Aunt Carol, who cried with me, and comforted me. Yesterday, I spent the morning with Liz at a coffee shop, talking and trying to take our minds off of everything. We visited Mimi’s room, but she was sleeping soundly and we didn’t have the heart to disturb her. After church this morning, I talked with many of the ladies of our parish, who assured me that Mimi and my family were in their prayers. At the hospital today, most of the family was there. It was my turn to be the comforter as everyone else took their turns visiting Mimi. Like me, they all returned to the waiting room with tear-filled eyes and lots of pain in their heart. I embraced them with the same love that was given to me, and we all cried together.

Honestly, there is a fairly good chance that Mimi will come out of this just fine, and continue to thrive for many more years. The main reason that it hurts us like it does is that it is one of many wake-up calls that Mimi won’t be with us forever. Like I said though, we just don’t know what will happen, and must take it day by day.

It’s kind of amazing how things that seemed like a huge deal, like social obligations, suddenly become unimportant and honestly, unappealing. There were plenty of events happening for our family this weekend that were left unattended, because it was better to be surrounded by each other, in an environment of love and support

Mimi knows that everyone is storming the heavens for her, and she is more grateful than you all will ever know. She has told us that she loves everyone for praying for her. In the same vein, I thank you all for the prayers for our family during this time. That is the biggest reason that we have all been able to be pillars of strength for each other and for Mimi. Of course, I’ll keep everyone updated regardless of what comes.

Love you all!!! Have a great week!

P.S.: Don’t forget to hug your loved ones and tell them you love them. If you can’t hug them physically because of distance, call them just to talk. You won’t regret it, I promise!