October (part 2)

I left off with telling my parents about our exciting news.

It turns out that the night we wanted to call them, they got even more exciting news. Gina's middle son, Andrew, was nominated as the 4th grade carnival candidate. Pioneer people understand the excitement of this, I'm sure. The carnival happened to be that night, and in great news, Andy's class won! My parents were pretty excited about that when we finally had time to call them. It made for an easy lead-in to our news, with which they were utterly overjoyed! We were all equally emotional during that conversation, but I was right. Talking to my mom made everything better because I knew that she knew everything I could immediately need to know about being pregnant. I also had to stop looking stuff up online by that point. Everything was super contradictory and confusing for someone who was emotionally vulnerable and unsure. (I.E. Am I taking enough folic acid? Is my prenatal vitamin sufficient? What foods should I eat or avoid? What OTC medicines can I still take? What symptoms should I be feeling? If I do/don't feel certain symptoms am I more prone to miscarriage?) After a frantic text to my super pregnant co-worker Shedonna (who knew just because I couldn't contain myself and needed someone at work to know), she told me to promptly step away from any mommy blogs or online forums. Just wait til my OB appointment and ask him for sure, which is what I have done ever since (besides consulting my mom), and I've been much happier.

Steve and Diana made it home from Spain that Friday afternoon. I was equal parts ready and not ready to see them. I missed them terribly and felt better with them at home, but was scared how they'd react to our big news given the past week. (Thomas and I opted to tell them immediately in case something happened. Also so I didn't have to keep coming up with excuses about not having wine at family dinners or excusing myself if I didn't feel well.) The night they returned, Ross and Juliette invited us all over for dinner. We didn't have time or find it appropriate to share our news before dinner, so we waited until we got back "home". Thomas and I still had to pack up our belongings from the past week of staying there before we could go home (for real).

When we told Thomas' parents, they were jet-lagged, having been awake for upwards of 23 hours at that point, and emotionally drained. Their grief hit them more intensely upon arriving back in DFW. (Understandably so.) There was a natural segue to this conversation, so Thomas led the way. Their initial reactions were ones of shock that quickly gave way to excitement. They weren't expecting the news, but were overjoyed. Steve marveled at the timing of it all, as expected. He's a master of finding the poetic nature of life, which is one of the reasons I adore the man.

We were chugging through the next week as we waited for Jackie's funeral, which was almost 2 weeks after she died, on a Saturday. Elizabeth was able to fly home from Spain that Thursday night, which ended being a double blessing. You see, the day before she got home, Elizabeth received word that one of her dear friends committed suicide. My in-laws were close with the family, so it shook them pretty hard when they were already grieving one major death. Furthermore, Elizabeth's 21st birthday was also the same day as the funeral. It was one thing after another for everyone, but we pulled together.

Thomas and I had a good opportunity to tell our news to Elizabeth that Thursday night. Yet again, she was jet-lagged and emotionally weak. That didn't stop her from receiving our news well, thankfully! To the contrary, she was overjoyed to know that in the midst of all of her pain and sorrow, there was still a shred of goodness left in the world. I think she has embraced her future of being an aunt/godmother quite well! I'm so excited to see her take on this new role--she'll be a natural!

The next day (a Friday) was Jackie's visitation service at the funeral home. My mom and sisters ended up being able to make the trip down to be there with us all. It was so good to see them, but it was an added challenge because my sisters didn't know yet. I really wanted to tell them then, but I also wanted to be able to tell my nephews and brothers-in-law along with them, so I waited. I finally got the big hug from my mom that I had been needing all along. We snuck sidebar conversations about my pregnancy when and where we could! My mom was also excited to congratulate Steve, Diana, and Elizabeth, especially since it was their first go at everything. Granted, she had to be furtive about these conversations, but I think it made her enjoy it all the better! The visitation was nice because it wasn't structured. Friends and family members were able to come and go, chatting with whomever they wanted for however long they could. It was nice and comforting. Emotions were high, but it was okay.

On Saturday (aka the funeral/Elizabeth's birthday), it was a slightly different story. Thomas, who had been coping like a champ for the last two weeks, wasn't feeling it as much that day. I think the thought of parenthood had been a good escape for him, but being faced with the finality of the situation caused those emotions to finally surface. It was probably a good thing, all in all. Jackie's funeral was beautiful. It was held at the funeral home and officiated by a cousin who is a preacher. (That side of the family isn't Catholic.) Ross and Elizabeth gave beautiful, moving eulogies. Thomas and Michaela read a couple of Scripture passages. The whole DFW area had been soaked with rain the entire week prior to the funeral, so they weren't able to do a graveside service that day, per cemetery regulations. Thus, afterwards, there was a nice reception at the funeral home, followed by a dinner at a restaurant for all of the immediate family, plus Mom and my sisters. It was a nice way to unwind after the stress of the last few weeks. We also got to turn to celebration mode for Elizabeth!

Our Sunday was pretty unstructured, which meant that Thomas and I could take time and show Mom and my sisters around a few places in town. This included our church, my school, and a couple of other places. We had a blast together, as usual. By the end of their trip, Mom and Gina decided they felt fairly confident navigating around our area, which made me feel better. Seeing them leave that afternoon was tough, but made a little easier by the fact that Thomas and I had previously planned to visit the next weekend, so that was fine. Also, we knew that we could tell my sisters then.

Yes, our plan was to tell my sisters, brothers-in-law, and nephews when we arrived in OK. If you know anything from the rest of this story, you could probably infer that we didn't do that. We told them a few days sooner! I was really chomping at the bit to tell at least my sisters, as it killed me not being able to text them and ask about various symptoms. Jakub's birthday was that week, so that was the perfect time to video chat and let everyone else know. I started by telling Jake that his birthday present wouldn't arrive until June. He was disappointed, but otherwise ambivalent. Then Andy piped in and tried to guess what the gift was. I prompted him to count how many months there were until June--9 months, including October. I realized then that the boys didn't quite get the significance of 9 months, but Gina sure did! Everyone was overjoyed! Emily put all the pieces together from her weekend in Dallas, and said she had her suspicions all along. (Who would've thought that me not having alcoholic beverages for a few nights would've been that much of a giveaway...)

My first OB appointment wasn't until the beginning of November, so I'll have to make a separate post to sum up that and the rest of my first trimester...and November on the whole! I can't believe it's almost gone and it's almost December! Time is REALLY going to fly now!