First Trimester

I left off on my pregnancy journey right before my first OB appointment.

The appointment was my 8-week checkup to verify that I am, indeed, pregnant and don't have some other bizarre medical malady that would make me think otherwise. My OB is a lovely Irish Catholic man, who (I believe) is a great fit for our family. He is kind, funny, and very informative. He is also a devoted family man, which means that he knows how pregnancy works, both as a medical professional and as a father.

We didn't get any earth-shattering news at the first appointment. He mostly checked to make sure I was taking my vitamins and to see if I had any huge questions that I needed him to answer. I had a terrible allergy attack the weekend prior to that (more on that in a moment) and I was unsure of what I could and couldn't take, so I asked him and ended up receiving a list of all medicine I am allowed to take right now. It is a short list, so I try to avoid taking anything extra if at all possible. At the end of my appointment, I had my first sonogram. Thomas was able to be there, so we both got to see our baby for the first time and hear its heartbeat. To us, it was a mind-blowing, earth-shattering, life-altering moment that brought us both to tears. To the ultrasound tech, it was just another day in the office. It felt like he rushed us a little, and didn't totally give us lots of information beyond our "complimentary" picture. It was fine, but ever so slightly disappointing. After the ultrasound, I had to have blood drawn, which was not unpleasant, but definitely not enjoyable to me. So it goes.

As far as my symptoms go, I have had an okay pregnancy so far. Many of the women in my life who are also mothers have vouched for almost all of them, but it always feels a little jarring to experience some of them when you're used to being an otherwise healthy person.

Of course there has been a little nausea, but never what I would describe as morning sickness. My nausea mostly manifested itself as dry heaving, which was loads of fun (sarcasm implied). I haven't had many food aversions, thankfully. My nausea was likely at peak during the aforementioned allergy attack. Otherwise, the nausea just was shown by feeling a little iffy when I didn't eat breakfast soon enough.

What I've lacked in nausea, I've MORE than made up for in mood swings and fatigue. I like to think of myself as a pretty "together" person who is more patient than most. NOT anymore. I can go from feeling mellow, to slightly agitated, to totally pissed off, to being a weepy basketcase within a 10-minute timespan given the right circumstances. My tolerance for any excess nonsense or ridiculousness is at subzero levels most days. Some of this is okay, as most would say I put up with too much. I don't like it because I try to be as kind as possible. I don't want anyone to think I'm a mean, spiteful person, because I'm not! Thankfully, everyone in my life has extended me much grace in that matter. I've had to be careful with certain things, often unlikely suspects, that make me suddenly burst into tears. Certain songs on the radio that remind me of people I love will make me cry. Random commercials make me cry. Everything makes me cry. I watched the re-broadcast of President Bush's funeral the other night and burst into tears multiple times, especially during his son's eulogy. No regrets, but I cried more than the average person probably did when watching it.

When I'm not an emotional wreck, which isn't too often, I'm excessively tired. I used to be a night owl; now I do okay to make it to 10 PM without crashing. At the beginning of pregnancy, I would come home, eat dinner, crash on the couch between 6 and 7, sleep until 9-10, wake up, get ready for bed, then sleep another 7-8 hours. It was a lot, even for me who loves a good nap and most things sleep-related. I received some relief in the week after my first OB appointment. It turns out that my bloodwork came back showing sluggish thyroid levels. The sweet nurse explained that that was the likely cause for my excess fatigue. I was put on thyroid meds. It took awhile for me to notice, but I'm slowly regaining energy! Taking the medicine has been an adjustment. I've never had to take any medicine except for when I was sick, so it's taken some effort for me to make the necessary adjustments. My medicine has to be taken on an empty stomach (aka first thing in the morning), then you have to wait another hour before eating. You also need to have a 4-hour gap between taking the medicine and taking antacids or iron/calcium supplements (aka my prenatal vitamin). The biggest challenge is taking my medicine early enough that I can still be able to eat anything for breakfast before leaving for work. My new normal is having an alarm that goes off every single day around 6-6:30 AM. I hate it (and Thomas probably does, too, on the weekends), but if it means that I have more energy and be healthier overall, I'll do whatever it takes.

I have gained some weight, but thankfully not a lot as of yet. I only say that because I am not planning on telling any of my students until after Christmas break, which is in about 2 weeks. I can get away with not telling them as long as there's no noticeable weight gain. Cardigans have been my best friend in masking the small weight gain I've had thus far. When we return from break, I'll let my students in on everything, but not just yet. They're notorious for fixating on insignificant details (somewhat due to their diagnoses), so I'm just planning on making it easier for everyone and waiting.

I have told some of my coworkers. I haven't told many, if only because I don't usually see them during the day. Our building is large and we are all spread out. My classroom is tucked away from most foot traffic, thus few people know. I also don't go down to have lunch with other teachers. They usually tend to nag and gripe about school stuff, and they sit close to students. I don't need any extra negativity in my life, so I avoid it. I'm also not energetic enough to go downstairs for that, so I stay in my room. It sounds depressing, but it is actually the perfect amount of time for me to mentally recharge before my afternoon classes.

I have also told Tonisha and almost all of my other close friends. Tonisha found out almost as soon as I got off the phone when I told the rest of my family. I've sporadically called, texted, or messaged almost everyone else. Thanksgiving gave me a good opportunity for that. We told the remainder of Thomas' family right before Thanksgiving. It's a been a flurry of well wishes and joy. It's baffled me just how much joy this little baby has brought to the lives of so many people. I can only hope and pray that he or she will continue to bring joy to the world as they grow older!

One thing some people might have realized is that I'm talking all about my pregnancy here on the blog, but I've yet to post anything on Instagram or Facebook. That has been completely on purpose. Thomas and I decided that we aren't going to post anything on either platform until after the baby is born. I have no reason to believe that anything will go wrong, but I also just don't want to open the news up to that many people. People can be such thieves of joy, and I'd like to ford that off for as long as possible.  Maybe it's selfish of us, but I think it's all for the best. So far, people have been very understanding and supportive of our choice. So, why am I posting here on the blog on not on social media? I have a fairly small following on my blog. Most of the people who know me and read it are likely people I'm comfortable with knowing. Maybe it's contradictory, but it's our decision nonetheless. Also, I've been avoiding Facebook even more these days. It's full of negativity and trash that just aren't good for my mental health, so I've been staying away. I have connections to too many people to just outright delete it, but I try to limit my time on there to once per week.

I've had one more OB appointment since my first, when my doctor went over some of my bloodwork and options for genetic testing that exist. I'll go again this week. Fingers crossed that I'll get another sonogram and get to see my baby again!