Pregnancy Dreams + A Few Other Thoughts

I have LOTS to catch up on. I haven't written a good update in well over 2 months. Life is busy.

I'll give you the high points so I can share a story that is too good to pass up.

• Christmas was busy. We spent a lovely few days in OK around New Year. It went too fast, as usual. The baby was already spoiled by a multitude of gifts :)
• We began the arduous process of getting approved for a mortgage so we could buy a house. It was a pain, but we persisted and emerged successful. 
• I felt the baby kick at approximately 20 weeks. It was pretty awesome!
• Work is work. I'm a teacher, and it's winter. Everyone is sick from the flu or is sick of being at school. I took on a new class at the semester break, and it is going about as well as it possibly could go. Spring break cannot come soon enough!
• The big news we've all been waiting for--we're having a girl! I'm so excited to welcome little Katherine Michelle into our lives! She appears to be perfectly healthy! 
• We have been actively house hunting. As can be evidenced from my last melodramatic post, it wasn't going so well. We looked at many properties that were fixer-uppers, but more like money pits. Or they were so highly sought-after that we ended up being one of at least 10 offers on a house. 
• Sub-update: We had an offer accepted on a house. Pending inspection, it's more or less a done deal, and we'll close right before my birthday...guess Thomas won't have to shop for that after all ;)
• In what's either the best or worst decision we've made this year, we'll be making a spring break trip to NYC to visit Jay and Mark! I'm excited to see the big city before they leave!

Yeah, like I said, there have been LOTS of changes, hence my lack of posts. Here's the story I have to share!

As mentioned above, we're slowly getting used to the fact that we're having a little girl! I can't say that I'm necessarily shocked. I've always been the one who breaks my family's traditions, and this is proving to be no different. Also, I've always had a hunch that that was the case. I'll chalk it up to mother's intuition :)

Her anatomy scan came out about as well as it could have. Her spine looks good, and her heart looks perfect. It was a huge relief for us. We saw all 4 heart chambers, equal in size, with blood flowing appropriately. 

I've had a number of utterly bizarre dreams throughout this pregnancy. I've dreamed about everything from having a Netflix movie made about me from the point of view of a boy who was angry at me for turning him down on a date. I've dreamed about being able to fly but not control it multiple times. I've dreamed about being attacked or having my car stolen. I've also dreamed that Thomas inadvertently shot a moose on a hunting trip, but could only skin it by cutting into my stomach. They've been WEIRD. Oftentimes my dreams have been so weird or difficult to experience that I've had to force myself awake to make it stop. It's led to many restless nights. 

Last night, I finally had a good dream! It was beyond perfect, and worth sharing, so here goes. 

I was sitting in my parents' living room, holding Baby Katherine. She was resting peacefully in my arms. My parents and sisters were in the room with me. Suddenly, a little girl appeared in the bay window. (The big window overlooking the front yard in my parents' living room.) She looked to be about 2 years old. She was squirmy, but had a big smile on her face. She had a head full of short, straight blonde hair. The girl was very excited to see me. In fact, when she saw me,  she shouted, "HI!" enthusiastically, like she'd known me for my whole life. I'd never seen her before, but she seemed oddly familiar. 

Suddenly it hit me. It was Michelle. I turned to face my family and saw everyone's eyes full of happy tears. My parents were crying the hardest I've ever seen them cry. I was crying too, but I wasn't sad. I was excited because I finally was able to meet the sister I've always had, but had never met. I turned back around to embrace her, but she was gone. But I wasn't sad. I was peaceful. In fact, we all were. Baby Katherine continued to lay calmly in my arms. It was the perfect moment. 

I've always felt like my life has been guided by Michelle's spirit. As I've mentioned before, I often feel as I exist within the tragic, yet beautiful paradox that my life came to be because of her death. I feel like our lives have always been intertwined, but I've never really had much reason to believe it beyond my sentimental nature and pure faith.  Last night's dream left me with a resounding reassurance that she's always been with me and knows me completely. I am not afraid. Just as she's been with me, I'm trusting that Katherine's spirit is with her right now. Michelle approves of her namesake and has given us her blessing. 

Say what you will, but I think God gives us these little reassurances from time to time, even in the form of a dream. 

Our beautiful, perfect baby girl.
Be still, my heart!