I have been in the trenches of some serious momming. Slowly, but surely, I'm getting the hang of having a little one who is completely dependent on me. Katherine is almost 6 months old. She is generally a happy baby who we just adore! At this time, these are the things she has done/accomplished/experienced:
- She mastered the art of rolling both directions by 3 months. She could roll tummy to back by 2.5 months!
- She's on the cusp of crawling and sitting. I have my suspicions that she'll be doing one or both by Christmas.
- She flew for the first time back in September, when we traveled to STL for Elizabeth's white coat ceremony. She was a great little traveler, all things considered. Minus the stupid TSA line that almost made us miss our outgoing flight from Dallas and a delayed flight coming back to Dallas, our quick trip was good. Okay, it was also incredibly stressful. I was happy that we traveled with Steve, Diana, and Steve's sister Jean. It made flying easier on us. Katherine was in a phase of hating carseats and screamed for the entirety of almost every single car trip we made that weekend. Everyone offered their two cents of how to calm her to no avail. I tried my best to get the point across that she was just out of her routine, needing to not be held or cooped up in a carseat, and possibly fighting naps. In all honesty, I was a bundle of nerves all weekend. I have never wished to have an IV drip of Valium as bad as I did that weekend. Traveling is incredibly stressful and doing so with a baby makes it even more so. Such is life.
- We've experienced 4th of July, Labor Day, and Halloween. All of which were almost non-events for us. We didn't even bother dressing Kat up in a costume. I know, we're the worst parents ever. It didn't seem logical to dress her up when we weren't going to take her trick or treating, she couldn't sit up, she is incredibly warm blooded, and the weather was cold, windy, and miserable. Plus, we were going to OK the next day, so I was in full travel prep mode and Halloween was a huge afterthought.
- Katherine started baby cereal a few weeks ago. She seems to enjoy it now. The first few times she was indifferent at best. Now, she's getting the hang of it! We'll likely start other solids within the week. I think she's ready to start experiencing new flavors.
- I SWEAR we're on the verge of her first 2 teeth. Then again I've been thinking that for the last 2 months. But this time, I really think we're close. I can see the outline of the 2 middle teeth on her jaw. It's happening soon; I can feel it.
- We continue to love Katherine's babysitter. She is just wonderful. We also love the little family the daycare is. She attends a small, in-home daycare with 3 other kiddos. Kat is the only baby there. The other kids just fawn over her. It likely helps that 2/3 of them don't have any brothers or sisters, so she is their adopted baby sister. It amazes me how much easier it is to balance everything knowing that Katherine is so well cared for during the day.
- Katherine has discovered her voice, which is the cutest thing ever. She can coo, shout, and is slowly learning to vocalize. I'm fairly confident that she can say Mama. I'm not deluded enough to believe she understands what Mama means yet, but she can still say it! She also makes this hilarious noise that sounds like a combination of a cat yowling and screeching tires. It is the best.
- She is quite the expressive baby. My favorite expression of hers these days is her "little old lady" face. She sucks her lips in around her gums and proceeds to babble. It makes me giggle so much!
I think that sums up Kat's first few months of life. She sleeps pretty well, all things considered. We are quite blessed by that. It only makes me dread having another child, because I just know that we'll get our payback then...
I returned to work in time for inservice, and I haven't necessarily been happy about it. I hate that I can't be with Katherine all day, and I hate the lack of flexibility teaching can have. Yes, we get lots of days off and built-in vacations. But guess what, when I'm off, almost everyone else is too. When I'm off work, doctor's offices are closed or booked up because that's when everyone else in the Metroplex decides to go to the doctor. I'm fortunate in that Thomas' job has a little more flexibility, and he's been able to take charge on a few days that I couldn't be there. When Thomas couldn't, his parents and mine have been great helps to us. We've hit a small snag, as Thomas' mom recently had a much-needed double knee replacement. She has been out of commission since the end of October, and Steve by extension, as he has been tending to Diana during her recovery. While Diana's recovery is far exceeding everyone's expectations, she still has a long road and lots of PT ahead of her.
At work, there have been lots of changes and reassignments. I now teach all but 3 senior math classes. Teaching seniors versus freshmen has been a huge mental shift for me. The math I teach is more intricate. The seniors are bundles of nerves, as they're trying to piece together what next year will look like. College apps, rec letters, campus visits, the much awaited admissions letters...all things I'm hearing about every single day. Furthermore, all but a handful of my students had a bad year in math last year. They were taught by my colleague who was fired mid-year. The level of incompetence, unprofessionalism, and lack of awareness shown by this teacher continue to baffle me in the worst way possible. My students have some serious PTSD from the practices used by their old teacher, and I'm left to pick up the pieces and move them forward. I have students who are adept problem solvers and skilled math students, but are crippled by extreme quiz/test anxiety. I'm having to constantly check my assumptions of what they "should" know with how they learned it last year. While freshmen are squirrelly bundles of teenage angst who need firm boundaries and clear expectations in place, seniors need lots of compassion, understanding, and a safe haven amid the storms of life. I feel like I'm part counselor and life coach in addition to teacher. Oftentimes, I think that the students need ME, the person to help them feel heard and seen and not teacher ME. Most days it's more about the personal connections than it ever is about the content. Don't get me wrong, we still are trudging onward in discussing trigonometry and basic derivatives, but we spend at least a little time each week talking about life. I think they need it amid the mounting pressure forming all around them as they approach adulthood. So to say that I'm more mentally extended at work than I've been in previous years is an understatement.
In an effort to be open and honest with myself, I've also been working on my mental health over the last few months. It has been a long and challenging road, but I feel like I'm slowly making some headway. It began with having lots of difficult conversations with Thomas, then my family, then my doctor. There are a couple of clinical causes that we've identified, but I'm also working to change some aspects externally in the hopes that it'll have a positive ripple effect. One way I'm working to fix things is by incorporating more exercise. I'm going out on a limb and trying something new next week. I decided that the best way to start my physical wellness routine is to try aquatic exercises. I'm doing this in phases by starting with basic adult swimming lessons. The last time I took swimming lessons was when I was a fearful third grader who almost had a panic attack trying to dive in the pool. God bless my swimming teacher back then. I have no idea how she didn't snap on me! I'm hoping that being a rational adult who knows that drowning isn't a constant threat will work in my favor this time.
On a separate note, Thomas remains an amazing constant in all of the changes. He grounds me, he encourages me, and he supports me. I couldn't do this life without him. He is an amazing dad to Katherine, too. I am incredibly blessed to have him and Katherine! For the sake of self-preservation, I'll end it here. Kat was up at 4 AM with some combination of teething pain and hunger caused by her food strike from teething pain, and this is the product of my insomnia since she went back to sleep. Have a great Thanksgiving--I'll do better to write more!
On a separate note, Thomas remains an amazing constant in all of the changes. He grounds me, he encourages me, and he supports me. I couldn't do this life without him. He is an amazing dad to Katherine, too. I am incredibly blessed to have him and Katherine! For the sake of self-preservation, I'll end it here. Kat was up at 4 AM with some combination of teething pain and hunger caused by her food strike from teething pain, and this is the product of my insomnia since she went back to sleep. Have a great Thanksgiving--I'll do better to write more!
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