COVID Craziness

It's been a while, I know. I have lots of good things to tell you about my sweet baby and other parts of my life, but right now I have other things on my mind. Other bloggers are using this time to write about their world in the midst of the COVID crisis. I guess I'll follow suit.

There have been many times in the last few years that I've realized I'm not in Oklahoma anymore. The first time was during the "gas crisis" following Hurricane Harvey. I realized that I was surrounded by a huge crowd of people and that major world events would hit harder here. I thought everyone was nuts because they lost their minds buying all the gas. Then a week or two later, it passed.

A couple of months ago, information came out about COVID, and I honestly blew it off. I really didn't seem too worried for an embarrassing amount of time. Then I was forced into dealing with it. It began for me with one of our admins sending an email that seemed somewhat dramatic, asking us teachers to have 2 weeks' worth of emergency lesson plans submitted to the office before 3/13/2020, AKA the day we left for spring break. I was a little annoyed with the request when it came out. I haven't had to submit formal lesson plans in years, but suddenly we have to do this. Getting this request a couple of weeks before the end of a grading period and right before the first major break we've had in months felt really inconvenient. We weren't going to close anyway, so what was the point?

Nonetheless, my crippling OCD went into overdrive, and I crafted a project that'd: A) be easy to use at any arbitrary point in time, B) be easy for me to explain via technology/email, C) not be a huge imposition on my students' time, because I'm a realist like that, and D) wasn't new material, because I knew my students would melt into heaps of anxious goo if I even tried to do that. It took a while and lots of creations from the Google Suite of products, but I successfully turned my plans in a week early. I turned them in, almost feeling stupid for even having done them. I felt like I spent a few hours of my life creating this intricate project for no reason. But I did it anyway, because I was asked to do so, and I did a damn good job, too, if you ask me.

On I went with my week. My students kept asking me about if we'd ever have to close the school for concerns of coronavirus. Or they made jokes about it. Or showed me memes. (The latter two were the most common, by the way. Young adults tend to use humor as a coping mechanism.) I blew it off, not wanting to feed into their anxiety. I told them I had "a plan", but said I doubted we'd even need it. Done. End of story. That was Monday, 3/9/2020. The next day, our principal sent an email saying that our IT department would be conducting trainings on video conferencing systems and online classrooms, alternating on the half hour, all day for the entirety of the week. She said it was highly recommended, but not mandatory we attend one or both trainings. Eh, we wouldn't need it anyway, so why bother?

The next day, I decided I had time, so I better make use of the trainings, "just in case". I scheduled my trainings. An hour later, our principal sent an email to me and everyone else who hadn't yet attended saying it was MANDATORY. Well...it just got real. Glad I was ahead of the curve! The trainings were simple and worth my time. I decided I'd show my students how to use both the next day, just because. The students picked it up easily, because kids just get technology. An hour or two into the day, we received an email stating that all students must stay in their midday homeroom to learn the program quickly. My fears elevated as the day went on. I did my best to show my students how to handle the situation. I told them we were being "proactive, not reactive". They liked that a lot, so it became our mantra. At the end of Thursday, we received notice that there would be no classes on Friday. It'd be a teacher inservice day for us to plan for possible closures. Cue my anxiety settling back in. I was glad I received the news after I finished teaching, because I wouldn't have kept it together as well. In a matter of 48 hours, the situation escalated big time.

At this point, I was glad I took the time to make good lesson plans in the first place! It was seeming more and more likely that they'd be used by the minute.

Oh, in the midst of this, I was informed that I had some abnormalities on routine blood work that had required me to go have more tests done. We were on the verge of closing school indefinitely AND I might have a major health issue? Lovely. Did I mention that my birthday is coming up?

Soon came the bishop of the Diocese of Dallas waiving the Mass obligation for "vulnerable populations"...followed by a complete cancellation of public masses for a couple of weeks. Everything was changing quickly. I made a huge mistake of visiting Sam's Club for things I actually needed. Aldi's wasn't much better. I wondered what this social distancing was about, because it felt like it was going to be a challenge whatever it was. I continuously second-guessed anything I felt like I needed to do. I was at the beginning of spring break, and I felt more like I was beginning a prison sentence. Thomas found out he was to work remotely until the beginning of April, at least. I found out pretty quickly that we're going to teach remotely for at least a week. I think it'll be two weeks. Thomas' parents are both working from home. Thomas' sister and cousin who are in college were sent home for the semester, moving to online classes. God bless their professors who figured out how to make nursing and physical therapy classes go online in a week's timespan. That wasn't an easy feat, for sure.

At this point, I'm still a few days out from beginning my stint as an online teacher. This is an interesting time, no doubt. I'd like to say I'm staying hopeful, but that's a bald-faced lie. In general, I'm scared, I'm anxious, and I'm hopeless. I have plans to visit my family in OK for Easter, and I have no clue if that'll even happen. I'm scared because I don't know the next time I'll get to see them. I'm feeling guilty because I feel like I'm getting screwed out of a birthday, which is this Saturday, thanks for asking. Everything is closed, so I can't go shopping to treat myself to anything. I feel like getting my hair or nails done is an ill-fated endeavor. I can't go eat anywhere. (I can get takeout, but it seems like more of an ordeal than it's worth.) There's not much to be had at the grocery store because everyone has lost their damn minds and thinks this is the beginning of the apocalypse, so they've bought everything in sight. I had to delete Facebook off my phone so I could slowly regain sanity. Instagram isn't too far behind, if we're being honest.

I'm trying to find the bright spots, I promise, but this is a lot. It is nice getting to see Thomas more. I've been able to walk Katherine to and from daycare. I won't have to deal with a commute. I still get paid. Thomas still gets paid. My health concerns were all for naught. My students have the resources to make online schooling a reality. They should be safe and well-fed while at home. There's a chance we'll still get to go back to school. I've been able to catch up on things at home. We can still watch Mass on TV. We have more than ample technology to stay in touch with everyone. We have a well-stocked pantry and freezer. Hopefully we can attend an Easter Mass. No one I know has contracted any illnesses. Hopefully this will pass soon. Pray for me and my mental health. I'm praying for y'all, too!